and you said cock pushups were impossible
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize