Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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