Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
