Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
