On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
