i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize