UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I skipped work to stalk him.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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