im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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