Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sober January is a disaster.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
