how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
