good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
wow bdsm is so cute
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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