she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
