He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
