when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
