i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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