Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
