He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
