You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
