Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
