They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
