can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
