Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
