You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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