I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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