I understand Curling. That high.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
