How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize