I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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