its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
