i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
