My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
