Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
