She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
