i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
