if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
