Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
