So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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