So drunk its hurt
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
