i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
