my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Even my vagina gasped.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize