We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I cockslap morals
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
