is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
