Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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