He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
