Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
