Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
