I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
