He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
