Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
