We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
