Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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