do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
