hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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