Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
