You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
