She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
