God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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