Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
