I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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