I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
