Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
