if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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