is your mom at the bar?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
