Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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