just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
