Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize