Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
