Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
