hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
